RAW this week starts with music and pyro.
Orton’s music and he’s in the ring. There’s a red carpet down and a table in the ring. It’s for the contract signing. Orton has a clipboard with the contract in hand. The fans give him a lot of heat and a small “You suck” chant starts. Orton says he has an official WWE Championship contract in his hand. Last week Cena (good pop for Cena) accepted his challenge. The thing is that Cena’s word means nothing to him. That’s why he wants it in writing so there’s no way Cena can back out in two weeks. There’s no way Cena can claim he’s not fully recovered. He wants this contract signed so that for Cena there’s no way out. That’s why he had his lawyers draw up the contract, which he’s signed. He tells Cena to come out, have a seat and sign the contract. He can wait to WM, that’s fine by him…
Video of Cena out back heading for the ring. Cena’s music and he comes out looking very serious, at first. Then he breaks out into a huge grin for the fans. Orton sits at the table with his feet up waiting for Cena. Cena gets in the ring and glares down at Orton. Cena poses and the fans seem to be mostly behind him this week. There’s some heat, but much less than last week. “Cena” chants.
Cena sits at the table across from Orton. Orton says both of their attorneys have looked it over. Now Cena just needs to sign. Cena signs and flings the clipboard across the table at Orton. Orton says he’ll see him in two weeks. But, if for some reason Cena tears his pec when arm wrestling Henry tonight, they’re still on. They both get to their feet. Henry runs down the ramp. Cena faces Henry, but then turns to check on Orton. Orton hits the RKO on Cena using Henry’s distraction. Orton back up the ramp holding his belt high.
Promo for Austin’s new DVD.
Orton and Henry are out back talking. Grisham come up and ask why they set him up. Orton said Regal set up the arm wrestling match. Orton just took advantage of Henry coming out to the ring. Henry says he’s going to enjoy ripping Cena’s arm out of its socket.
Kelly Kelly comes out in a purple and black bikini top and matching boy shorts. Video of Victoria beating Kelly on SD!. Mickie comes bouncing out in a yellow version of her two piece wrestling outfit. Victoria comes out in her two piece res spider outfit. Beth comes out in a black pants jumpsuit with the sides cut out.
Vic slams Kelly down by the neck. Kelly gets her legs around her neck. Kenny gets pinned but back bend out. A back slide to Vic for two. Vic slams Kelly down hard. Vic pick s Kelly up by the hair, holds her for three then slams her down face first. Mickie tags in, comes over the top and uses head scissors on Vic. Mickie slams Vic down hard. Mickie climbs but Beth shakes the ropes and Mickie comes off wrong. It looks like she might have actually injured a knee or something in it.
Vic covers for two. Beth tags in. Mickie gets a guillotine hold on Beth who slams her into the corner to get out of it. Beth tags out and cheap shots Kelly so Mickie can’t kick out. Mickie hits a big DDT on Vic and covers for three.
– Winners: Kelly Kelly & Mickie
Beth is pissed but Mickie and Kelly stay in the ring and stare her down. Video of the big moves of the match. Beth is at the top of the ramp hugging her title belt close.
Regal tells Hornswoggle he needs to be proud to join this club, as he is.
HBK’s music and he comes dancing out. He’s in his home state and has both huge pyro and huge pop. JR says HHH isn’t there due to a family emergency. “HBK” chants. HBK says that last year at the RR he came this close to eliminating Taker and going on to the main event at WM. He made it to the main event anyway and came this close to beating Cena for the WWE Title. It’s good, but it’s not the best. He doesn’t like second place. He knows he’s had a great career, has held numerous title and, he doesn’t know if he’s mentioned it lately, he sings his own theme song. He’s putting everyone in the EC on notice. Friend, foe, whatever Umaga is, that he’s planning on headlining WM.
Y2J’s music and he comes out to the ring. Y2J says he says he doesn’t need to explain the respect he has for HBK. One of his favorite matches was WM19. He agreed with everything except when he said he was going to win the EC. No one else has been in as many, nor won as many ECs as Y2J. His destiny is to win the EC and go to WM and no one, not even HBK is going to…
Jeff Hardy’s music and out he comes. The fans are hot for Hardy. “Hardy” chants. He says it’s great that they both want to get back to the main event at WM. Personally he’s never been to a main event to WM. He’s so close he can taste it. If it means sacrificing his body. Even if it means taking out five RAW superstars to do it. Even…
JBL comes walking to the ring. JBL stays out on the apron. He says he had to leave Texas for New York City to live in the home of a champion. He tells the fans to shut up. He says they have an impressive resume. JBL always gets what he wants, whether he has to buy it or get it. Umaga doesn’t speak English, but he knows it. In the EC Umaga will guarantee JBL’s safety to make it to WM.
Umaga’s music and out he comes. JBL is grinning ear to ear at Umaga. JBL gets in the ring but suddenly loses his smile as Umaga starts backing JBL into a corner.
Snitsky comes down to the ring. He says the only thing that’s absolutely certain is that they’ve had their chances. “Brush your teeth” chants. He says he deserves to be in the EC. If they won’t give them his spot, he’ll take on of theirs.
HBK says the group doesn’t agree on anything, other than that Snitsky doesn’t deserve squat. Well, he does deserve one thing, a good orthodontist. HBK says he know someone good.
HBK then attacks Snitsky and the whole ring erupts into a brawl. Regal comes out screaming he’s seen enough. He says it will be Umaga, JBL and Snitsky against Hardy, HBK and Y2J in a tag match tonight.
Kennedy comes out to the ring. Super Crazy is already in the ring.
They lock up. Kennedy dropkicks SC’s leg. Kennedy throws punches and then a knee to SC’s face. SC comes back with a drop toe hold. Kennedy goes back to work on SC’s leg. SC kicks Kennedy away, but he comes right back after the leg. Kennedy goes outside and drags SC to a corner by the leg. Kennedy slams SC’s leg into the ring post. Back in the ring Kennedy keeps working on that left leg. SC gets and arm bar on Kennedy and slams Kennedy’s face with the back of his leg a couple times. Kennedy locks on a type of inverted figure four. SC taps out.
– Winner: Kennedy
Kennedy’s mic drops and he directs our attention to the tron. He show what MVP did to Flair last week on SD! MVP lost via DQ, but then took apart Flair’s leg. Flair couldn’t walk from the ring and Kennedy mocks him. Kennedy says he knows Flair’s in a lot of pain, is hurt, and saw what he just did to SC and he doesn’t want it to be him at NWO. He’s giving Flair the chance to come out and forfeit next week. It’s not Flair style, he’s a proud man. But if Flair wants to go through with it, not only will he end Flair’s career, but Flair will limp for the rest of his natural born life.
The new announcer is in the crowd and talks about the EC (he still sucks). They show a video about the EC with bits of old matches.
Santino comes out with Maria and Carlito in tow. Maria is in a tiny silver dress and an ugly leopard fedora. In the ring Carlito hands her his apple. London and Kendrick come out to the ring! Yay, London’s back!
Carlito and Brian start out. Brain gains the upper hand and hits a drop kick for two. Forearms to Carlito and then another drop kick. Brian get sent out through the ropes, as Santino pulls them apart, and lands hard. Santino and London chase each other around outside the ring. Carlito hits his back stabber and covers Brian for three.
– Winners: Santino & Carlito
Out back Vince is grinning. The camera pans out and someone is buffing his ass. He asks about ass cream. He says he wants a dollop and jumps when it’s cold. He gets his ass buffed some more. Vince is all excited that Horney will be joining the Kiss My Ass Club, in HD.
Vince comes strutting down to the ring. He says in the past we’ve seen him make an example of how the chairman should treat his employees, something the fans employers should think about. But tonight he’s setting an example for his son. He think the fans should do the same and discipline their kids. They shouldn’t talk about it when they do things wrong, they’re not adults. Their idea of discipline is a time out. He calls their parenting skills pathetic. He says the children that people don’t care about. He wants the kids in the arena to stand up and be recognized. Every single one of the kids in the arena are spoiled brats. The parents did it, not him. The only way to discipline their kids is to make their kids kiss their asses! That’s tough love. Speaking of which, we’re about to see his bastard son kiss his ass. He tells him to come to Daddy! Horney comes out slowly looking upset about it. He gives Vince hurt puppy-dog eyes. Vince points in front of himself as to where Horney should stand. He tells Horney that he loves him. Horney nods. He also says Horney knows he brought it on himself. He also knows it will hurt Vince more than Horney.
Vince takes off his jacket and un-does his belt. He tells the fans they should do this with their kids. He drops his pants an gives himself a wedgie with his skivvies. He tells Horney to kiss it. He’s about to and backs off. Vince says he’ll bend over and Horney doesn’t have to get on his knees. Horney steps up and is about there and Vince demands he kiss it and calls him a little bastard.
Finlay’s music and he comes out in a pinstriped leather jacket. Vince wants to know what Finlay’s doing there. Vince says maybe it’s about loyalty and friendship, but tonight’s about discipline. Vince reminds Finlay he signs his paycheck. Now, after Horney’s done, Finlay can kiss his ass too.
Finlay hold Horney back. Vince says to let him go. Finlay says he doesn’t have to do this. Vince says it’s tough love. Vince bends over and tells Horney to kiss it. Finlay holds Horney back. Vince says to not make him take the sheleighly and jam it up Finlay’s butt. Finlay lets Horney go and Horney runs up and bites Vince’s ass.
Finlay and Horney run from the ring as Vince holds his ass. Vince pulls up his pants and looks around in shock as Finlay and Horney dance a jig on the stage. Vince is now pissed and talks about how the fans all think it’s funny. Since we all liked it, let’s see if we like this. Next week Vince will be in the ring facing Hornswoggle. Because of each and every one of the fans in the arena he’s going to beat the hell out of his son. It’s a no DQ Match, but if Finlay gets involved he’ll be fired.
Video replay of Finlay talking in Horney’s ear and then Horney biting Vince’s ass.
Promo for WM.
Hardcore Holly and Cody comes out to the ring. Cade and Murdoch come out to face them. They look a bit more bling than usual.
Holly and Murdoch tie up. Murdoch gets slammed down. An inverted atomic drop by Murdoch and a kick to Holly’s face. Cade tags in. Russian leg sweep for two to Holly. Elbow to the top of Holly’s head, but a drop kick drops Cade. Cody and Murdoch tag in. Cody comes off the corner to take Murdoch down. A bulldog takes Murdoch down again. Back body drop to Murdoch. Cade rushes in but Holly take shim out. A DDT and Cody covers for three.
– Winners: Holly & Cody
Carlito, Santino and Maria come out and congratulates them for the win. Carlito then says they’re the new number one contenders for the Tag Titles. Santino says they have as much chance of keeping their titles as Maria does for posing for Playboy. Santino says that Holly and Cody can pose for a magazine about balding old guys with girly names.
Promo for the Divas being on Project Runway this week.
JR and King go through the NWO matches.
Jeff Hardy comes down to the ring. HBK comes out to join him. Y2J comes out to round out their team.
JBL and Snitsky are ringside. Umaga comes out to join them. The three enter the ring slowly, but together.
Umaga and HBK start. Y2J gets the fans jumping from the apron. Umaga goes after HBK who ducks and comes back with chops. HBK goes for a sunset flip but moves before he’s flattened. Y2J tags in and tries to work Umaga’s arm but gets a knee to the gut and a head butt. Snitsky tags in and stomps Y2J in a corner. Snitsky tries for a big boot but gets hung up top and a springboard dropkick. Jeff tags in. Jeff gets slammed down and JBL tags in. Jeff gets bounces face first off a corner. A punch drops Jeff. JBL pulls Jeff to his feet by his hair but Jeff comes back with a mule kick. Jeff covers for two. JBL again gains control. Snitsky tags in and goes to drop and elbow but Jeff moves. HBK tags in. HBK starts to gain control but gets slammed down. “HBK” chants. HBK locks in a submission move that’s a figure four type thing. Umaga breaks it up. Everyone is in and bodies fly. All the heels end up outside on three different sides. The three faces look at each other and then all fly outside at the same time.
Y2J and Snitsky are down in the ring. JBL did something to Y2J, seems like when he was trying to springboard. Snitsky slams Y2J down. Snitsky covers for two. Umaga tags in and beats on Y2J’s back. Jeff and HBK try to get in to help, but the ref keeps stopping them. Y2J is down in a heap in the heel corner. A bear hug on Y2J from Umaga. Y2J gets out but runs into a Samoan drop. Umaga covers for two. Another bear hug on Y2J. “Y2J” chants. Y2J manages to get to his feet and out. JBL tags in and stomps Y2J. JBL drops elbows on Y2J and covers for two. Y2J starts fighting back but runs into a boot. JBL covers for two. Snitsky tags in and locks on a bear hug. Umaga gets a cheap shot in on Y2J’s back and then he runs into a back elbow. Umaga tags in and head butts Y2J’s back. They exchange chops until Y2J drops. Umaga climbs and flies, but Y2J moves, both are down. Y2J is going for a tag, but Umaga grabs him. Y2J hits an enziguri and both are down again.
Snitsky and Jeff tag in. Jeff gains control. He gets whipped, runs up a corner and hits whisper in the wind. JBL gets involved and they all rush in. Sweet chin music to Umaga and Jeff manages a twist of fate on Snitsky. Jeff climbs, hits a swanton and covers for three.
– Winners: Y2J, HBK & Jeff Hardy
Cena is out back heading for the ring.
Promo for Candice Michelle’s return next week.
The arm wrestling table is set up in the ring. Cena comes out. Video replay of Orton and Cena in the ring at the start of the show. Orton said that it didn’t matter if Henry tore Cena’s pec again, they’re still on. Then Henry distracted Cena and Orton hit the RKO. Mark Henry comes out to face Cena. Henry is yelling at the fans. Henry talks smack to Cena when he gets in the ring. Cena and Henry get set up at the table. Henry backs off and complains about oil on Cena’s hand. Cena says Henry’s the world’s strongest man. The ref says there’s nothing there. Henry starts to set up and back off demanding the ref check Cena’s hand. “Cena” chants and boos. Henry punches Cena’s pec. They finally set up and start. Henry about has Cena over when he starts coming back a bit. They get back to even and Cena gets Henry over a bit. Cena’s about to win when Henry’s other hand comes out and he tries to pull Cena’s hand back. Orton attacks Cena from behind. Orton tries to RKO Cena but Cena doesn’t agree and goes for the FU. Orton flees the ring. Cena turns around and Henry’s there. Cena gets Henry up – barely – and hits the FU!